Zombie Attack Nigh? The Latest on the “Miami Cannibal” attacks

29 05 2012

Alright everyone, sharpen your machetes and clean your shotguns. It looks like Florida has decided to become a breeding ground for the flesh-hungry undead.

No, but seriously. Here I am, just chilling and studying up for my exams next week and my cousin calls me, flipping her proverbial shit. She reads me a few articles and I browse about on Google, and from what I can gather, this is what went down:

Two days ago, a little after 2pm in Miami, Florida, police responded to a 911 call about two naked men fighting in a bike path. The victim, a homeless man, had his face torn to shreds by the apparent Zombie. The man had his nose torn off, most of the flesh on his face devoured and one of his eyeballs eaten. The officer who responded to the call told the man to back away, but the Zombie growled at him and returned to his meal. He was unresponsive to being shot five times in the chest before being shot a sixth time in the head which was when he finally went down. Reports say he was glassy eyed and his skin was discolored. The official report is that he was on drugs.

The logical and most plausible way that this happened was the guy was on drugs and flipped out. It’s not uncommon, really. Drugs to crazy things to your head, even allowing you to get shot and not give a damn.

But the little zombie obsessed fan inside me wants to break out the crank-power radio and hide myself away with internet, ammo, and my grandparents’ downstairs stockpile of food. I’m hugging my zombie pillow pet, affectionately called Norman, for dear life and wondering if the next time I set eyes upon his fluffy, soft, adorable face I will staring into the wall-eyed expression of the enemy. This story is blowing the hell up like nothing I’ve ever seen. I don’t even think Kim Kardashian’s divorce got this much coverage, and I didn’t even follow that.

But in all honesty, a full-scale zombie apocalypse is highly unlikely. There may be a big breakout, but I feel like it would be contained nearly instantaneously. There isn’t much reason to panic, because there are so many prepared Zombie fans in the world and lots of idiots with shotguns filled to the brim with ammo. Plus, we have a military. And police. And that doesn’t hurt much either.

More to come. I really need a shower. And time to draw up a zombie survival plan.



27 03 2012

So here I am in the library, listening to Souxsie and the Banshees, sipping my Ceylon tea sweetened with sugar (two packets – there was also aspartame but I feared I’d get that diet pop taste in my organic tea) trying to get my work done before Midterms tomorrow. I really should get on that as soon as godly possible, which means once I am done typing this post I will probably give into the urge to derp around on FB for a bit, then throw myself halfheartedly into my work, fueled by tea induced panic. Ah, thank the Gods for a library that stocks free organic teas.

I WILL BE DOING A HUNGER GAMES REVIEW! I saw the movie and I can safely say that I am less than thrilled. I feel weird doing beauty product and food reviews instead of doing what I really wanted to do – review bad movies.

Animarathon recap will come shortly after that.

Thank you darlings for your attention. Also, I’m not too fond of the new layout. Anyone else feel the same way? I’m leaning towards changing it back to Hitchcock.

Also, I apologize for any apparent lack of the letter M in this post. I’m using a laptop that doesn’t belong to me, and it has problems with that key.



Yves Good Dogs: A Food Review

20 03 2012

I’m vegetarian. I don’t think I’ve ever said that on this blog, but since the re-vampiring I feel the need to share more without typing it. Anyway, I got these bastards today and I was skeptical, because I am not, I repeat, NOT a hot dog person. I was when I was little, but oh god just the smell of them can make me sick to my stomach. So I was pleasantly surprised by these little buggers.

I found these at WamLart while getting my usual regimen of firm tofu. They’re located in “that section” for reference, wherever that section may be at your WamLart. Usually by the produce. Anyway, I’ve never seen WamLart stock faux-meats other than the typical fare of frozen Morningstar and Boca delights. They apparently also now have Tofurky bologna, which I would have also picked up if I didn’t detest bologna with a passion, even though I’ve heard nothing but good about Tofurky. Also, their freezer section now has Morningstar breakfast stuff, but as Morningstar is not vegan, I’m not sure if those are on the same page.

Getting off my unnecessary how-I-acquired-them tangent, these things are apparently hot dogs without trans fats, cholesterol, and 65% less fat. I thought Good Dog was just a brand to distinguish them from real meat, but no, it’s just a variation on their three or so other types of wieners. Speaking of wieners, the serving is one wiener, which greatly amused me in WamLart. By the way, I’m calling it WamLart purposely.

Since I’m so fancy, I microwaved two little hot dogs on a plate instead of boiling them which was probably a better choice, but the prospect of hot-dog scented steam sickened me to no end. They’re packed quite tightly in their package, and sort of hard to get out. And they’re also slightly triangular in shape, due to their packaging. Also, they’re thinner than the average hot dog.

So, once I retrieved them from the microwave, they were really hot so I had to carefully place them in their little generic buns so I wouldn’t burn my fingers. And, they DON’T smell like Hot Dogs! ­čśÇ However, they do have a sort of expected fake-meat smell about them, but it isn’t bad at all. They were a little blistered, which may aesthetically throw some people for a loop. I don’t know how they’d fare being grilled, though it’s suggested on the package in big letters.

So, I put these tiny weenies in their buns, dousing them with a fair amount of ketchup since I’m lazy and didn’t want to look for mustard in my fridge which would surely win the award for the most condiments in one refrigerator. Then I cautiously drew them to my lips and took a bite.

Now, hear me out, fellow hot-dog haters of the world. These actually are not that bad.

Honestly, they’re a lot better than I expected, having a hatred of hot dogs and all they stand for. The texture is similar, if not dead on, to that of a meat hot dog and eaten in a bun with some condiments they taste pretty damn good. However, eaten alone, they do have that slightly off-putting fake meat taste, which doesn’t bother me because I once ate soggy tofu steaks simply because I was hungry.

As a vegetarian with limited options around my house, these are really great for me because I can just throw them in for two minutes before I leave for my long, grueling Romeo and Juliet practices (I say that with love, Denver. You’re a fabulous director and I love you – the practices are fantastic). My standard dinner before practice usually consists of steamed broccoli in cheese sauce, which can take ten minutes or more to make and is a little heavy when I have to get up and ride my bike several blocks. It’s really not convenient either, since I’ll lose track of time.

Rating: 9.5/10 – If only that fake meat taste was less severe…

Yes To Carrots Shampoo/Conditioner duo review

19 03 2012

Alright, babycakes, lets make this short and sweet because my black nail polish is still tacky and I have Photoshop homework to do.

Yes to Carrots is a sub-brand of the lovely Yes To line. I own this shampoo and conditioner set and a leave-in color care conditioner from Yes To Cucumbers. Yes To tries to be as natural and environmentally friendly as possible, as far as I can tell. They’re also cruelty free and vegan, which is a nice touch – especially for me, who buys cruelty free whenever humanly possible.


The bottles are tall cylinders, with no visible break in shape for the caps like with other shampoo where the cap is usually smaller than the bottle itself, so it sits on a sort of plastic neck ledge. These bottles look clean and the packaging is probably what drew me to them


The caps confused me at first, because I had no clue how to open them. You’re supposed to simply press down on one edge and the other pops up, letting you dispense your shampoo or conditioner. But no, I have to over-complicate things.

The decals are lovely, and won’t peel off anytime soon. The bottle itself is constructed of some sturdy plastic, so it’s unlikely to break if dropped on a hard surface like concrete if your shopping bag may happen to split open while carrying it to your house.


On the website, a bottle of either Shampoo or Conditioner is offered at around eight bucks. Now, I can swear to you my mom I didn’t pay that price. If I do recall, I got them at Meijers and they were six dollars a bottle. The Meijer website doesn’t seem to have them listed, but they were there and apparently they’re available at WalGreens for a similar price. That seems a bit high for bottles of shampoo and conditioner, but they are large bottles and hold quite a bit, if I do say so myself. They’re big and rounder than most bottles, which seem to be flat instead of round.So you do get quite a bit of product for the price, or rather bang for your buck


pleasant smelling, works well, conditioning, pleasing packaging


price, not much better than average shampoos/conditioners

The product smells nice – it’s mellow and sort of like your average unscented conditioner. It fades pretty quickly, so don’t expect your head to smell that way all damn day. Once your hair is dry, it’ll smell pretty much like nothing.

I have fine hair, which is dyed often and is notorious for looking like cotton candy since my ends turn to crap after a dabble with pink/purple/blue hair dye. Right now it’s pink, but the dye I used was double-process red violet on top of my already bleach blonde hair, so the pale pink color I have right now doesn’t really wash out much when I shampoo. It removes just as much color as the other shampoos I use ( iON Salon Care and Rock Your Hair) so it’s safe to use on dyed hair without fear of much rinsing out. That being said, don’t bitch and moan at me if you just dyed your hair tealaquaorangreenlavender and this is the first time you washed it since rinsing, and it bleeds like a fucker. That’s just the nature of dye. Don’t blame the shampoo.

There’s not much lather in the shampoo, which I attribute to it being sulfate free or something. Otherwise it’s nice aesthetically, albeit a sickly medicinal orange color reminiscent of a certain face-cleanser that smells like lipstick, and it’s slightly gel-like, possibly a bit thinner than normal shampoos though. The conditioner spreads well across your hair, and it doesn’t require much to get a nice silky texture to your hair, but that may just be me with fine hair talking about stuff I don’t know about. Hell, it gets your hair clean and the conditioner keeps my hair soft and apparently soothes my exploded ends so I don’t have much to complain about.

But here is the time for complaints, and they must be said. The products are ridiculously pricy. I could get an Herbal Essence duo and spend a fraction of the price, and it would work just as well. I assume the price goes into it being vegan, cruelty free, sulfate free, with minerals from the dead sea and stuff to nourish your scalp or whatnot, but I think it’s a load of shit. (I’ve been trying to cut back on my language – it’s not working).

The last time I had serious scalp issues was a while ago, when my hair turned orange after using a bad box bleach (alliteration, people) and we had to bleach it twice. TWICE! Box dye isn’t good for your hair in the first place, especially not bleach, and definitely not twice in the same night. My scalp burned like a mother and a few days later I’d scratch my head and soft, mushy dead skin would be jammed under my nails, the kind that comes off after not exfoliating for a while then soaking in a warm bath and scratching your legs? The grey stuff that appears on your legs and under your nails? That’s it. And that was when I had long nails, too.

The shedding of skin lasted for a good long month, but I doubt that this carroty goodness would have helped me much, as the whole top layer of my scalp was apparently flushed from my body over a process of thirty days or more. I don’t know what other scalp things you may have wrong with you, but I doubt that they could be healed by a bunch of minerals.

I’m not bitching/ranting/rambling for no good reason, and I certainly beleive in natural products working wonders, but this is not one of the best out there. The cons weigh equally with the pros. If you like the sense of mind of knowing your shampoo is vegan and cruelty free with the soft scent of conditioner lingering as your hair dries, then feel free to fork over the cash for it. I’ll stick with iON repair solutions, thank you, which work better and are always certified vegan.

THAT BEING SAID: Before I go, I’d like to point out that I conditioned my hair with this conditioner today and my hair feels absolutely fabulous right now. Much more so than with using my repair solutions stuff or my Rock Your Hair conditioner. I don’t know why.

Rating: 6.5/10


2 03 2012

So, due to issues, there has been no Scary Fake. I never really got into the reviewing, though I love doing it. I love just spouting off my shit and going with it for people to maybe read online. But I joined this thingy called BookSneeze, so apparently I get free books to review which is fabulous because I love books and I love reviews. However, apparently, none of them really fit my genre of what I do, which is the drooly, shitty mess I call this blog.

Romance books anyone? Hell, this could be fun.

So yes, for anyone who cares, I will be starting reviews again here soon. I’ll get a new look for the blog and throw myself full force into this hell hole. Also, please disregard what I said about watching all of 2d’s favorite movies. I never even got close to that. I was screwed before I even started.



I review for BookSneeze®

Kitty Kitty Meow Meow

22 12 2011