I’m vegetarian. I don’t think I’ve ever said that on this blog, but since the re-vampiring I feel the need to share more without typing it. Anyway, I got these bastards today and I was skeptical, because I am not, I repeat, NOT a hot dog person. I was when I was little, but oh god just the smell of them can make me sick to my stomach. So I was pleasantly surprised by these little buggers.
I found these at WamLart while getting my usual regimen of firm tofu. They’re located in “that section” for reference, wherever that section may be at your WamLart. Usually by the produce. Anyway, I’ve never seen WamLart stock faux-meats other than the typical fare of frozen Morningstar and Boca delights. They apparently also now have Tofurky bologna, which I would have also picked up if I didn’t detest bologna with a passion, even though I’ve heard nothing but good about Tofurky. Also, their freezer section now has Morningstar breakfast stuff, but as Morningstar is not vegan, I’m not sure if those are on the same page.
Getting off my unnecessary how-I-acquired-them tangent, these things are apparently hot dogs without trans fats, cholesterol, and 65% less fat. I thought Good Dog was just a brand to distinguish them from real meat, but no, it’s just a variation on their three or so other types of wieners. Speaking of wieners, the serving is one wiener, which greatly amused me in WamLart. By the way, I’m calling it WamLart purposely.
Since I’m so fancy, I microwaved two little hot dogs on a plate instead of boiling them which was probably a better choice, but the prospect of hot-dog scented steam sickened me to no end. They’re packed quite tightly in their package, and sort of hard to get out. And they’re also slightly triangular in shape, due to their packaging. Also, they’re thinner than the average hot dog.
So, once I retrieved them from the microwave, they were really hot so I had to carefully place them in their little generic buns so I wouldn’t burn my fingers. And, they DON’T smell like Hot Dogs! :D However, they do have a sort of expected fake-meat smell about them, but it isn’t bad at all. They were a little blistered, which may aesthetically throw some people for a loop. I don’t know how they’d fare being grilled, though it’s suggested on the package in big letters.
So, I put these tiny weenies in their buns, dousing them with a fair amount of ketchup since I’m lazy and didn’t want to look for mustard in my fridge which would surely win the award for the most condiments in one refrigerator. Then I cautiously drew them to my lips and took a bite.
Now, hear me out, fellow hot-dog haters of the world. These actually are not that bad.
Honestly, they’re a lot better than I expected, having a hatred of hot dogs and all they stand for. The texture is similar, if not dead on, to that of a meat hot dog and eaten in a bun with some condiments they taste pretty damn good. However, eaten alone, they do have that slightly off-putting fake meat taste, which doesn’t bother me because I once ate soggy tofu steaks simply because I was hungry.
As a vegetarian with limited options around my house, these are really great for me because I can just throw them in for two minutes before I leave for my long, grueling Romeo and Juliet practices (I say that with love, Denver. You’re a fabulous director and I love you – the practices are fantastic). My standard dinner before practice usually consists of steamed broccoli in cheese sauce, which can take ten minutes or more to make and is a little heavy when I have to get up and ride my bike several blocks. It’s really not convenient either, since I’ll lose track of time.
Rating: 9.5/10 – If only that fake meat taste was less severe…